What does it mean to be dependable? What does it mean to depend on someone?
What are the qualities or objects of dependability, anyway?
You might say that I can totally depend on you, but why do my mind blame you if I wake up late?
Could it be because I expect you to wake me up in a sense that I should be able to count on you to wake me up?
Why do my heart filled with such disappointment if I see you put off praying?
Could it be that I expect you to hold the same value of faith as me in a sense that I could depend on you to remind me to keep up my faith?
It’s unfair to you that I impose these when I should be held accountable for my own self. I know. That’s why it hurts as I am torn between expectation and explanation.
And yet, here I am putting thoughts into words, alone in the room.
I wish to perish, never to feel again.
