a sound mind and body
a balance soul and frame
a forgiving, caring, and selfless person
inward focus
outward impact

a positive individual in general

 

sampai jumpa,
untuk pelita yang hilang tiba-tiba
dan senja yang menggantinya

sampai jumpa,
untuk tawa canda hangat tatapan
yang datang beserta pelukan

sampai jumpa,
suara nyanyianku yang sumbang
diiringi tanganmu berdendang

halo rindu,
tak usah malu
ataupun merayu
karena ku telah duduk membiru

 

one of the biggest lesson that i’ve learned on 2019 was accepting that i might be the villain somebody else’s story. and that’s okay. the truth is, i’m human and i made some decisions that weren’t wise which cause others to get hurt.

i can’t tell others on how to narrate their life.
but to those i’ve hurt,
i was wrong and foolish. and i’m sorry.

 

ah memang,

tak semua serta merta sama dengan orang kebanyakan.

telah dipaksa, ujungnya tetap mual juga.

biarlah jadi pelajaran

untukku menerima.

 

– aku setelah memakan pudding regal yang ku beli sendiri

 

what is our mind, but our own biggest enemy?

 

is this adult hangover?

well, let me revise that. is this adult halal hangover?

i was out until past midnight last night. now i feel awful unpleasant.
not only that i’m sleepy, but also i feel…unwell in general.
probably this is caused by a series of negligence towards my body.
i haven’t been eating well since God knows how long.
about a week ago, a friend of mine said “nyim sakit? kenapa keliatan ga fresh?”
added by two more people that said i look like i lost weight.
this morning, my mom sent me a whatsapp saying “kamu kelihatan ga sehat.”

currently i’m sitting on the 8th floor of my corporate office drinking chamomile tea while trying to tone down the ache i feel on my lower stomach.

am i really not in my good shape?

 

aku akan menelponmu
sesering yang ku mampu
setidaknya sekali seminggu
karena rindu suka lupa mengetuk pintu

aku akan menelponmu
mendengar cerita tentang hari-harimu
tentang risalah youtube yang kau simak sebelum tidur
atau cuaca Bandung yang membuatmu meringkuk di atas kasur

aku akan menelponmu
bercerita tentang rambut mamang gojek sore itu
dan leluconku yang tak sedikit pun lucu
biar saja kau bosan
dan aku pun jenuh

aku akan menelponmu
sesering yang ku mampu
setidaknya sekali seminggu
karena rindu selalu
duduk-duduk menunggu

I could’ve sworn i saw your face change ketika aku bicara terkait sidang.

I could’ve sworn it’s written in your eyes that you don’t want me to go

I could’ve sworn i hear your voice slowly breaking when you say that you wanna be there for me

I could’ve sworn you love me

And i know you do

I love it when you talk history.

I got you on my mind

Your smile popped on my head when I accidentally listened to some cheesy love songs

Fvck it, i’m in love